Two weeks of high and lows

Two Weeks of Highs and Lows

Well, what a two weeks it’s been.

I was driving Pp the van when she started missing more and more, to the point she almost couldn’t pull herself. I made it home, figuring the problem was from water that had gotten into her gas tank.

The next day, she wouldn’t even crank would turn over. I started diagnosing the issue, not knowing where that road would lead me. First, I put a tester on the fuel rail and found no fuel pressure at all. Okay, I thought the fuel filter was clogged. Nope—my 1999 Dodge Ram Van 2500 with the 5.2L engine (Miss Pp) is too good to have an external fuel filter.

Next, I figured the fuel pump must have gone bad. I tested it and found no power going to the fuel pump. I was like, “What the fuck Pp, why are you acting out?” I checked all the fuses and relays; they were good. I just stood there and looked at her, “You damn bad girl.”

So, I asked God—oh, I mean, Google—what was up with my bad, bitchy girl. Google said it was her brain: the ECM (Engine Control Module). There’s a safety feature that cuts the ground to the fuel pump if the van rolls over or the engine stops turning. That sparked some major PTSD and bad anxiety. I had previously spent months and went through six rebuilt ECMs just to get a good one for her.

After cursing her out and feeling like setting her on fire, I did more Googling and found I didn’t have to buy a new ECM; I could get a bypass switch. I ordered the bypass switch and a new fuel pump. I removed her fuel tank, got it cleaned out, and reinstalled it with the new pump and bypass kit.

Pp cranked right up, but she still had a bad miss. “Still a bad van, what now?” I thought maybe the bad gas had ruined her fuel injectors and plugs, so I changed them. More money spent. Still, the bad girl was missing.

Back to testing everything. I was listening to her and she was popping like electric cracking. Well, it turned out she had two bad spark plug wires. Replaced the wires, and she cranked and is now running like new!

I took her to fuel up, and she had to show out one more time. She wouldn’t take the gas to the tank. “W.T.F. now, Pp?” It turns out I had to apologize to her: I had left a baggie in the fuel pipe that I used to keep trash and water out of the tank until it was put back in. Well, now she is truly running like a brand new girl!

The Weight Loss Plan

I took her back to feed her, and all seemed good, but she felt a little heavy. I ran her across the scales and, sure enough, she was 70 lb over her limit. That shouldn’t be!

I came home and cried. She can’t legally run down the road overweight. I spent the rest of the day sick and ready to give up on her and the dream.

The next day, after racking my brain, I came up with a plan: a massive weight-loss program.

I started by cutting off her “nose job,” which meant removing the extended front bumper, the winch, and the two batteries used to run it. That alone took off 300 lb. Then, I took all the tools, supplies, and some other stuff out of her. I got her 1000 lb lighter in total.

So now, I have to come up with a plan on how to finish building her and put all our necessary stuff back in. The original plan was to travel light, only carrying a week’s worth of supplies and just the basic things we need to live. By returning to the original plan, I’m ready to start Monday, getting back to finishing her build.

What a roller coaster Miss Pp took me on.

Thanks for reading.

Jg and the Ppt posse

KRose, Tippy, Louie